Maybe it's shame—shame for not being able to fix myself, for getting old, for being a fraud teacher. When I hurt, I feel like I'm the only one. Everyone talks about how much pilates cured their spine, but my experience is to the contrary. At some point, after eliminating the majority of movements to protect my body, I started asking myself: are we really doing Pilates? Or are we just doing exercises on a machine? Does all of this make me NOT a pilates teacher?